Have you ever wondered who would win in a battle between a software developer and a squirrel? Well wonder no longer as we’ve got the answer.
It was a cool, crisp, autumn morning in September. There was slight dew on the grass and a faint mist in the air. It was shortly before 8am and Andy Bennett, one of our senior developers, was out on his brand new racing bike, racking up a few miles before a hard day of coding. Head down, eyes up – he moved into the streamline position ensuring the most aerodynamic position possible as he ramped up his speed. Little did he know that a pint-sized, kamikaze terror lay in wait ahead.
As Andy reached terminal velocity, the green blur of passing trees and hedge rows intensified. His focus was purely on the damp tarmac in front of him. All of a sudden, 50 yards ahead, a grey blur appeared from the hedgerow and bounced across the road. Andy slowed his pedalling and momentarily covered the brake levers with his agile developer fingers. Within seconds the grey blur was just ten yards in front of him and bouncing back towards the greenery. The hazard had gone… or so he thought.
Andy removed his fingers from the levers, firmly gripped the handle bars and continued to cycle – hard. In a matter of moments, the kamikaze creature leaped back into the road leaving Andy helpless and unable to react in time. The squirrel entered the spokes of Andy’s front wheel and was momentarily flung around like a Catherine wheel. Instead of coming to a gradual stop, the head of the little critter caused the wheel to jam. The bike came to an instant stop and this didn’t bode well for the rider. Andy exited his bike in a human cannonball-like fashion. Unfortunately unlike the movies, he didn’t do an action style barrel roll and then jump to his feet. Instead he landed on his shoulder. The impact caused an immediate break of his collarbone in not one, but two places – ouch! The brave little developer made it back to the office with bike in hand and squirrel… still stuck in the wheel. Fortunately the passing of the squirrel was very quick.
Andy said, “As soon as I fell to the ground I immediately looked back to see if the squirrel was OK. Unfortunately it wasn’t alive and must have been killed instantly by the impact”.
Andy was whisked off to hospital that morning, but was back at his desk the next day – true dedication. The squirrel had an informal burial in a field neighbouring the office. We do advise anyone cycling through the countryside to watch out for these animals as they are incredibly fast on their feet and won’t stop for anything!
If you would like to see how the squirrel ended up – check out our Facebook page. We warn you though they’re not for the faint-hearted!
We estimate that the odds of this happening to someone are in the billions to one. Do you know of any crazy incidents that have occurred, in or out of the office? Let us know.